The various types of ‘other women’ are, one who genuinely falls in love with a married man; second the gold digger; third the nymphomaniac; fourth the party animal, and fifth someone looking for a ladder to success.

The second, third, fourth and the fifth take what they are after from the relationship irrespective of the compromises they have to make or the consequences that destroying the man and his family life for their own selfish motives and then move on to greener pastures mercenarily. If these are left with the burning end of the rod in their hands, they deserve it. In take and one or both are using each other. Each pays the price or they just move on after the relationship is saturated.

But what about a woman who really falls in love with a married man and remains loyal in a longstanding relationship?  What’s the deal she gets? The very first hand dealt out calls her a mistress and a keep. But who is the real villain n the triangle? The man, of course! No ‘other woman’ can make a man, who truly loves his wife, fall in love with her as well, since there cannot be two loves in one heart and she does not go into his house and hypnotize hi out. As actor, Ashish Chaudry, puts it, “The issue about the other woman is a complex problem. Two people who are in a relationship can only understand the intricacies; let’s for instance take the case of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. As a spectator, all my sympathies are directed towards Jennifer Aniston, but I can’t pass on the statement that Jolie was at fault. Perhaps, there was something between them which commanded such a situation to occur. It’s rash to pass on the judgment without knowing the actual details.

When a married man falls in love without another woman…there has to be something lacking in his wife, and yet he doesn’t leave her. Why? Men have their vile ways of convincing women that they are not happy in their marriage and were it not for the kids blah blah…, they would not have stuck around! In reality, he wants to have his cake and eat it too. What happens when a married man involved in a serious relationship with another woman who is foolish enough to give herself to him unconditionally? While he is engaged with his passion and she is ecstatic at being his preference, he is actually making up to his wife in more ways than you can ever imagine. Because he feels guilty towards the wife, he makes here materially happy and financially secure. And the ‘other women’ is happy with his love and promises and makes no demands, because he is honest enough to tell her that his wife keeps telling him, ‘Oh, she is with you because of your money,” while all the time it is she who is licking the cream. Actually, ‘she’ does the wife a big favour by having a relationship with her husband.

Says, actress, Perizaad Zorabian, “It’s quite true that in a relationship, when things go sour between a man and a woman over another woman, the blame is very conveniently shifted over the other woman. However, I would not like to defend anyone who wants to break a home.” 

The other woman is always at a disadvantage, for he goes home every night and share the same bed with his wife; never mind if he does not have sex with her. He gets used to having her there inside his house and , you, outside, till the day finally comes. It may be even 20 years later, when he is older, that he finds his own home more relaxing even if  has really love you. By this time she has become a habit and a fixture in his set up and his home would feel empty without her even though he has never loved her. Then he begins to feel like a criminsal for depriving her of his sex and love as if it was the ‘other woman’ who forced him to give his passion to her. Age mellows all and so it mellows him…The ‘other woman’ is Out and she is IN.

Actress Suchitra Pillai voices her opinion. She says, “It is foolish for a woman to fall in love with a married man. But it often happens that a woman is caught unawares, ifa man may hid his marital status, and I have seen it in plenty of cases that she becomes a victim in a nasty web. If a woman goes for a married man, it is both of them who stand to share the blame. It’s annoying to see a woman on the receiving end”

Where does that leave the ‘other woman’ if not in the doghouse? In today’s time and age, there is no man honourable enough to remain in a marriage with a ‘Horrible Hager’s wife, ven though he’s compelled to find love and solace outside his house? Which only means that his wife is blameless, does not merit a divorce. Therefore, he remains in the marriage. Then what is he doing with her?

My genuine advice is: Don’t fall in love with a married man. If you do and he says that he love you too, tell him right away that it’s either you or his wife. If he leaves her for you, he will make an honest woman of you. If he doesn’t and you will still carry on with him in the name of love, you will be labeled the ‘eternal bitch’ an when he does return to his wife, which he most definitely will, because he never did leave her in the first place, she gets it all, and you will be left holding nothing but a broken heart, loneliness and financial instability, unless he has been honourable enough to at least settle you financially.

It will never strike him that if his wife did indeed love him, she would have left him long ago, for no woman can share her husband unless she is there for her own gains.

Courtesy: Gittajali Elizabeth Mordecai (P.T)

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If you believe in good relationship and not breaking the sweet home, you may read my blog on "Tips for everlasting Love relationship" which comes under love section in my blog.